Don't Tell Your Parents

Now M and I feel bad about abandoning our loyal TV viewers for so long. So in case this lapse in guidance occurs again, there is another website you should follow as well to get advice on what shows you should be watching.

Yes, the Parents Television Council. This “non-partisan education advocating responsibility” group gives excellent advice on what shows to watch. Well, what shows you shouldn’t watch actually. But that’s the beauty of the site. The site uses a traffic light to grade each show. “Red Light” means the show is inacceptable (How I Met Your Mother, Gossip Girl, 90210, Chuck, Cougar Town, Medium [but I am guessing this judgment was made after watching the gal this show is based on appear on the Real Housewives of Beverley Hills]), “Yellow Light” means the show MAY be inappropriate (America’s Funniest Home Videos, Biggest Loser, 30 Rock , The Office) and lastly “Green Light” for family-friendly shows with traditional values (Undercover Brother, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition).

We here at TV Stalker recommend checking out the PTC’s weekly roundup site to help you plan your week accordingly. We recommend picking mostly Red Light shows with some Yellow Light shows sprinkled in (I mean Modern Family and the entire NBC comedy lineup are Yellow shows). But you can avoid all Green Light shows, unless of course Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is doing one of those episodes where they surprise the family by bringing home a soldier deployed overseas. Those get me every time.

Also, at the end of each week the PTC names the best and worst shows of the week. Found here. A few things. 1. I wish the PTC released this ranking at the beginning of the week so I could be sure to catch an especially inappropriate episode of Secret Life of an American Teenager. 2. How do I get the job of deciding the worst show of the week? I mean really, do you think the gang at the PTC draw straws to see who has to watch Gossip Girl that week? 3. How close of a match is this list to our recommendations? Cougar Town has been named the Worst Show of the Week twice. TWICE. We can’t recommend it more. GREAT show.

Lastly, here are a few highlights from the PTC’s reviews of some of our favorite shows:

90210: : “…the program’s current content is enough to cause one to exclaim: come on!” Couldn’t have said it better myself.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Having episodes titled “Charlie Wants an Abortion,” “Charlie Got Molested,” “Mac Bangs Dennis’ Mom,” “Mac’s Banging The Waitress,” and “Who Pooped The Bed?” will get you a Red Light rating.

Bachelor: M really should have consulted the PTC before blogging about this Red Light Show. It contains “a lot of kissing…also a fair amount of innuendo”

Bachelor Pad: For "using the technique of “franken-biting” to artificially enhance the sexual content in an episode when there was none.” Now this is a serious problem. When sexual content is advertised, I tune in. So don’t tease us, ABC.

Sons of Anarchy: PTC does not like “it’s unparalleled and gruesome violence and its glorification of murderous, drug-dealing hoods”. Yup, the show is that good.

The Real World: “PTC's new study of MTV original programming that revealed expletive-laden programming—both partially-bleeped and non-bleeped obscenities—occurring approximately once every three minutes with no language warnings to parents.” I am totally watching this next season with a stopwatch.

Walking Dead: “Once viewers simply had to avoid a couple movies playing at the multiplex, today they are being forced to pay for explicit depictions of blood, rotting flesh, and dangling viscera.” Forced? Really?

Jersey Shore: “another idiotic piece of MTV reality trash, with twentysomethings drinking, hooking up, drinking, fighting, drinking, vomiting, and drinking some more. How anyone could possibly find this program entertaining is baffling.” After a review like that, how could you not watch?

Thank you, Parental Television Council. Thanks to you, I’ll never miss a minute of quality television.