The triumphant return of Jeffrey Osborne

I mean....all I really need to say about the Bachelor is, "I told you so." I know I only blogged about it last week, but I have been predicting Vienna for weeks (references provided upon request). A few highlights from last night:

• Tenley couldn't have married Jake because there would be so much crying between her, Jake, and Jake's dad that no one would ever be able to get anything done. Man up!
• Vienna clearly only owns two swimsuits: the fuschia one she wore to the mud pits, and the turquoise one she wears every other day. Also, did you notice that the editors blurred out her butt cheeks when they were rolling around in the mud? DYING to know what was going on there. Brazillian cut? Bottoms riding up? Vulgar words spelled out in Swarovski crystals?
• There's no bouncing back from being told that there's no physical chemistry. Abandon ship!
• Hey Vienna-- remember that one time that the makeup artists got you all gussied up for the finale and introduced you to the wonderful world of a eyeliner, mascara, and a lash curler? Let's keep that going, shall we?
• Loved the girls flying to Jake's location in a helicopter. Why did they get hotels that are so far apart? And also, couldn't we have found a cement helicopter pad? Walking across that grassy field in fancy prom shoes had to be quite tricky...
• OMG Jake's tie? It looked like someone was repurposing one of Bill Cosby's sweaters. The plus side is that it fit right in with the 1982 "On the Wings of Love" montage (which will be great to show at their sure-to-be-super-tacky/cheesy wedding, yes? I would like to think that Jeffery Osborne will make a live appearance there, as well.)
• Now on to Dancing with the Stars. So after the Bachelorette, the Bachelor, and now DTWS....is it safe to assume that Jake is no longer a pilot? Ride that 15 minutes of fame, my friend...

Love to hate this show. Can't wait to hate Ali on the Bachelorette (apparently her job is now ok with her taking an additional, even longer leave of absence. Does NO one work anymore??)