Reality Competition Round Up

1. The Amazing Race
I can't even talk about the finale of The Amazing Race without getting emotional. All I will say is that the producers CLEARLY aren't determining the winners (like they do in American Idol that show I don't talk about), because I don't think a single person in America wasn't rooting for those cowboys to go home with the grand prize.

2. Survivor
I've been a Russell fan mostly because I like to like the villain, but also because I thought he was actually there to play the game. But by the end of the season, I felt pretty strongly that Parvati should have won (and not just because she's older than me, which makes me feel good about myself). Parvs, as I like to call her, was clever as a fox and played everyone in that game. And I just really, really don't like Sandra (although she looked a thousand times better all dolled up in the finale. And Parvster....actually may have looked better on the island.).

3. Project Runway, ANTM
Time for honesty. I didn't watch the finales of either of these. I was so over both of them that I deleted them off of my dvr and just went online to see who won.

4. Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat II
As long as we're being honest...this is probably one of my top ten favorite shows on tv. I can't get enough of the silly challenges, the drunken fights, the sloppy romances, and all of the alliances and backstabbing. And I've had a crush on Kenny, aka Mr Beautiful, since day one (to clarify: a crush in the same way that I love Pauly D and The Situation, not a real crush), and I love seeing him be the king of the Challenge. Also, I'd just like to say that seeing Wes break down during exile this last week was one of the most shocking moments ever seen. (We all understand sarcastic hyperbole around here, right? Because clearly tv's most shocking moments are all Britney Spears-related.)

5. Celebrity Apprentice 2
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: two hours is a ridiculous amount of time to spend on a single show every week. BUt I'm proud as punch of my bff Bret, who has survived every board room as well as a brain hemorrhage (and just in time to come visit me in Wendover on July 30. Don't even think about trying to get backstage before me).

6. Top Chef Masters
This show doesn't really feel the same without Padma (who I like to think was named after Natalie Portman in Star Wars). I've been watching this half-heartedly, but my full attention will return in a few weeks for the premiere of Top Chef: DC. And since he never checks this blog anymore, I feel like I can disclose the fact that Steven dreams about Tom Colicchio.

Celebrity-Adjacent Apprentice

This trainwreck of a show is back for a third season, and before discussing the great cast this season, I have to address the one downside to watching this show: the length. No show needs to be two hours. Okay, I lie. LOST, Jersey Shore, and Toddlers & Tiaras would all be excellent in the extended format. I swear more people would watch this show if it was only an hour. Now onto the great cast this season. We have:

Milorad "Rod" Blagojevic. Be honest...who knew that was his real first name? He is truly the best part of this series. He spends the first episode pleading his innocence and making jokes about his scandal. Oh, and he takes credit for the Chicago Bulls' championships.

Not only is Carol Leifer a lesbian Jew, she was also the inspiration for Elaine on Seinfeld and even wrote a few of the episodes.

Poison's Bret Michaels competes for his charity with the same amount of passion he has for Daisy's (or any Rock of Love vixens') hot bod. He is that dedicated. To women and diabetes.

This wonderful season also features Summer Sanders (thankfully she didn't totally disappear after "Figure It Out" wrapped), Curtis Stone (Meggan and I have been debating...is a chef more first or second husband material?), Sinbad (clearly "Jingle All the Way" did not sink his career), Sharon Osbourne (okay when "The Osbournes" started on MTV I seriously thought it was a scripted show making fun of the Osmonds), and many other D-listers. Enjoy the the show...but keep your finger on the fast-forward button.