LNWJF

There is a new favorite song in my home, and it all comes courtesy of one of the best shows on tv: Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.



I know what you're thinking. A lot of us, myself included, saw the first episode or two of Jimmy Fallon and were less than impressed. But trust me when I tell you to give it another chance. Just watch the clip above: The audience is in Yacht Rock apparel. The Roots are in Yacht Rock apparel....and playing WITH Robbie Dupree. There is a strategically placed awesome dancer right behind Sir Dupree. AND JIMMY'S SINGING BACKUP.

Jimmy is one of the rare people who I feel like absolutely loves his job. He talks to every guest like they're bff. And the skits. Oh, the skits! One of my favorites is Slow Jam the News (and not just because it features frequent appearances by my other NBC crush, Brian Williams):




Other excellent skits:
Head Swap
6-bee (Glee parody)

Letters Home

Thank You Notes (Friday tradition)

As you all know, I watch a lot of tv. Which means you'll appreciate the magnitude of what I'm about to say:

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon is on my list of top 5 tv shows. 

And there you have it.

Lee Marvin, Derek Jeter, and Khonani

Let’s face it, people. We have all seen last week’s 30 Rock(s) because it is THE best show on television. Yes, I said it. As a guest blogger, I am allowed to make such statements. So, instead of recapping a show we all watched… maybe even more than once… let us relive some of the best moments from last week’s double feature in a segment I like to call "Quotes from Carol*."

*Carol is my nom de plume. This is really Natalie. But don’t you love the alliteration?

"Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter"

Avery: …Think: Slutty Grace Kelly
Jack: Oh, God bless you. I’m picturing it right now. And, the opposite of that just walked in.
Avery: Tell Liz I said “Hi”

Jack: Thanks, Lemon. But my true present is that equisite ensemble. You look like a prison weed dealer.

Jack: Lemon, are you wearing a cup?
Liz: Oh, I forgot: only guys can get hurt there.

Jack: Lemon, the grown-up dating world is like your haircut: sometimes awkward triangles occur.

Liz: You’re going to juggle them? No. Even you can’t pull this off, Jack. Mrs. Doubtfire shimself could not do this.

Nancy: I even got them to make you that flavor we invented.
Jack: Peanut butter and Miller High Life.

Twopher: I am about to utter two words a Harvard man never says…
Liz: I’m cool? I’m sorry. You can’t set me up like that.

Liz: How’s your episode of Three’s Company going?
Jack: Like Three’s Company, it’s titillating yet anxiety-producing. I need your help, Janet.
Liz: Ah man, being Janet sucks.

Pete: Tracy, will you call Twopher and talk some sense into him?
Tracy: Oh yah, just ask the black guy cause we all know each other. Pete, could you tell a bald eagle to stop scaring me at zoos?

Tracy: I know you’re all secretly mad because we finally have a black Disney princess.
Jenna: You know, there actually hasn’t been a white princess since 1991.
Pete: Tiana, Mulan, Pocahontas, Jasmine. Wow she’s right.

"Khonani"

Tracy: Well, I yelled Baba-Booey at Walter Cronkite’s funeral. So I actually have no idea of what’s rude or not.

Jack: Oh my: I haven’t seen your brow that furrowed since you saw that picture of Helen Mirren in a bikini.
Liz: How is that possible? Is she a wizard?

Jack: I’ve had to make some tough calls over the years… turning down Dick Cheney’s offer to be King of Iraq.

Cirie: Hey Liz, can I talk to you and Jenna in… the office where everybody clips their toenails?
Liz: Not cool, guys.

Tracy: I trained him to hate white people cause not to profile, but most ghosts are white.

Liz: I want to see the behavior that got you kicked out of the Inaugural Ball.
Tracy: I can’t, LL. First of all, the Secret Service never gave me back my t-shirt cannon...
Liz: No… you have to come. I need you! This party needs to be off the hook!
Tracy: People don’t say that anymore. They say “surf party USA.”

Kenneth: Mr. Jordan, it’s Kenneth Parcell. From work. And friendship.

Liz: Do you think when I was a kid I dreamed of someday paying $1,200 for a karaoke machine to impress a bunch of pasty losers?
Jenna: And a professional singer who’s beautiful, but doesn’t know it.

Celebrity-Adjacent Apprentice

This trainwreck of a show is back for a third season, and before discussing the great cast this season, I have to address the one downside to watching this show: the length. No show needs to be two hours. Okay, I lie. LOST, Jersey Shore, and Toddlers & Tiaras would all be excellent in the extended format. I swear more people would watch this show if it was only an hour. Now onto the great cast this season. We have:

Milorad "Rod" Blagojevic. Be honest...who knew that was his real first name? He is truly the best part of this series. He spends the first episode pleading his innocence and making jokes about his scandal. Oh, and he takes credit for the Chicago Bulls' championships.

Not only is Carol Leifer a lesbian Jew, she was also the inspiration for Elaine on Seinfeld and even wrote a few of the episodes.

Poison's Bret Michaels competes for his charity with the same amount of passion he has for Daisy's (or any Rock of Love vixens') hot bod. He is that dedicated. To women and diabetes.

This wonderful season also features Summer Sanders (thankfully she didn't totally disappear after "Figure It Out" wrapped), Curtis Stone (Meggan and I have been debating...is a chef more first or second husband material?), Sinbad (clearly "Jingle All the Way" did not sink his career), Sharon Osbourne (okay when "The Osbournes" started on MTV I seriously thought it was a scripted show making fun of the Osmonds), and many other D-listers. Enjoy the the show...but keep your finger on the fast-forward button.

Medal Count: 18

I really, really love the Olympics. But what I do NOT love is that this two week long celebration of winter sports has thrown all of my regularly scheduled programming way out of whack. No Late Night with Jimmy Fallon for ten whole days. No Modern Family, Cougar Town, The Office, or 30 Rock. For heaven's sake, 90210 and Melrose Place have been gone since December 1....and won't return until March 9! This tv deprivation has been enough to make me super grumpy. Now let's go ahead and add insult to injury, shall we?

Yesterday evening I came home and turned on the tv right in the midst of the women's downhill competition. And after a couple of epic crashes and an emotional gold medal for Lindsey Vonn (which may or may not have made me cry), I was hooked. Then came men's snowboarding halfpipe. Scotty Lago, age 22. Louie Vito, age 21. Shaun White, age 23.

When did I get older than EVERY Olympic Athlete?

This is part of an ongoing obsession I have with being older than people on tv. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. So, in order to calm my own frazzled nerves, I share with you now a short list of some of the people in the Olympics that are older than me:

Shaun Palmer: November 14, 1968

Bode Miller: October 12, 1977

Apolo Ohno:  May 22, 1982

Shani Davis:  August 13, 1982
Kelly Clark: July 26, 1983

Julia Mancuso:  March 9, 1984

Johnny Weir: July 2, 1984

Lindsey Vonn: October 18, 1984

Now, back to cheering on team USA!